We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
