Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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