yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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