I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
