She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
