yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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