i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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