You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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