You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
