all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
