Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
