I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
