no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
