I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
