Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
