Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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