If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
