her vagine was all disorganized.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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