i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
