The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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