weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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