So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
