I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
