4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
