I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
