I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize