So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
try to milk me bitch
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