yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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