I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
