i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
