this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize