Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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