was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
