If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize