Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
