You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
