my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
