So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Your cock deserves a montage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
