i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
