her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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