I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
