i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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