I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
