We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
