He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
