Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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