omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
