It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
