pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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