All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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