She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
