Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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