I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
