dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
