Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
